All close relationships go through their peaks and troughs.  It wouldn’t be a healthy relationship otherwise.

Our relationship is constantly challenged as my husband and I have many a heated debate about little things to do with the children.  This inevitably leads to contests over who has done more, whose work is more demanding, whose put more effort in or who is more tired. 

When we have these disagreements consistently, it becomes a drain.  It doesn’t matter what it’s about.

This raises an important question.

Are you setting up your relationship to withstand the storm of arguments and still flourish? Or are you setting it up for failure?

What’s surprising is there are some very basic steps you can take to make sure it flourishes no matter what.

Here’s a formula that’s worked for me, 13 years and two young children later.  And the surprising thing is, this formula can be applied to any close relationship you want to ensure survives those stormy arguments, even the ones that feel like a hurricane.

Here’s the formula:

1. On a daily basis find something genuine for which you can thank your partner

You want to feel appreciated and so do they.  It could be saying thanks for a cuppa, or saying thanks because they went out of their way to do something for you.

2. Celebrate your successes

When you or your partner have a rough day, celebrate that you’ve got through it.  If your partner has been having a challenging time at work, remind them how great they’ve been in the past, to give them perspective on the situation.  If you achieve something together, like moving house, celebrate.

3. Show forgiveness

We all know how to bear a grudge – don’t.  It’s not helpful.  Spend your time and energy focussing on the positives in your life.  Your energy is better spent elsewhere.  Forgive, learn from the mistakes, make sure they are not repeated and move on.

4. Remember you are equals

You bring as much value to the relationship as the other person.  If you feel the balance is out, have a conversation about what you expect from them and then ask them what they expect from you.

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6 Step Plan To Richness

by Coach Karen on September 30, 2011

When I coach people, invariably the theme of being rich comes up.

For me being rich has so many angles to it: It is having enough money where I’m not wanting, I’m not feeling scarce about money. Also, being rich, is having amazing friends, family and pockets of happiness which I experience every day.

Being rich, for me, is ultimately freedom  in all areas of my life. I can do what I want, when I want.  It’s also the feeling of being cushioned by support, love, generosity around me.

I find the more I appreciate what I have, the richer I feel. And that mindset leads to opportunities financially and otherwise.

When I think of my life I feel really lucky and yes there are others financially richer than me but it’s not about them and comparing.

It’s about what matters most to me in business and life.

I’ve helped people to double their income or to pick out a figure and get that sum of money. I’ve also helped people achieve a healthy balance between work and life, find a partner, mend a relationship in trouble, find time for themselves and to double their confidence.

It didn’t come by magic. It involves, vision, dedication, resilience and effort. You need to get past all the no’s to get the yes’s that bring financial and personal gain. You need to have a clear vision of what you want – how else can you know when you have it or what to your aiming for.

I’ve pulled together the key steps to get Richness in your life. Here’s the 6 step plan I’d love to share with you.  These steps are based on my experience of helping tons of people get to richness, both financially and in thier outlook of life. In the comments box below, leave me a comment, I’d love to know how you get on with these steps.

6 Step Personalised Plan To Richness For You.

1. Imagine and then write down what being rich means to you. Think in terms of:

Family and friends

Career

Health and fitness

Romance

Fun, hobbies, socialising

Personal growth or Spiritually

Money

2. Look at the gaps and commit to one significant action to take you a step closer to your ideal.

3. Connect to what being Rich gives you in each for the areas. For example being rich in friends/family: gives me a sense of love and support. Career being rich is: Recognition, achievement, success,promotion.

4. Look at where you are already rich in your life. For example for me it’s having morning hugs with my children when they creep upstairs. Having an attitude that exercise is important, having amazing friends and family that support me no end.

5. Start a gratitude note. At the end of each day, write down three things you are grateful for. Look at that list again each morning.

6. Think about what and who inspires you. For example it could be landscapes, books, music, films or specific people. Make sure you are tapping into that resource daily; it could be a picture for example. This will give you the fuel and passion to stay on track and motivated.

 

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4 Step Plan To Happiness

by Coach Karen on September 21, 2011

I was having a challenging week last week, everything seemed to be throwing me a curve ball. I was really ill, lost my voice whilst delivering a coaching academy, youngest daughter caught chicken pox, my mum ill in hospital and found myself experiencing that feeling of overwhelm.

It got me thinking about what really makes me happy, what could I turn to give me a much needed lift which didn’t include chocolate – a whole other story.

It’s spending quality time with my children, doesn’t have to be hours and could be just 10 mins.

It’s exercising, the feeling like I’m burning calories and nothing else occupying my mind except the TV, whilst I’m on the treadmill.

Helping people grow, learn and achieve their goals.

The feeling of giving time to myself to sit down, read, watch tv, eat something delicious, walk outside in the sun. In general time to stop.

What I quickly realised is that having enough energy, allows me to do those things that make me happy instead of feeling drained of energy.

In my life that means, early nights, taking time out, eating well and exercising all of which allow me to recharge my batteries and give me sufficient energy to face challenges with ease and make time in the day for the things that make me happy.

When I feel that sense of overwhelm or drain of energy, I know something is out of balance and that I need to do something about it.

Here’s 4 Simple Steps To Happiness:

  1. Make your list of what makes you happy. It could be two things, ten or more, doesn’t matter just make the list.
  2. Then put in place the simple things that give you energy, allow you to recharge your batteries, for example, one early night a week, leaving work early or on time, half an hour exercising , walking, taking time out.
  3.  Then commit to following your plan for two weeks and see what happens.
  4. If you experience the energy drain or sense of overwhelm, something is out of balance. Look back to your list and take action to correct it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this simple four step plan, please leave me a comment below.

Speak soon, Coach Karen

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Welcome! (and a story about my weight)

August 11, 2011

Welcome to my site – take a look round, make yourself at home.  I’d love to get to know you. You may have seen me on TV, on The Wright Stuff Extra, there’s a link below the post, come across my tweets or found me by chance. However you’ve found me I’m glad. I’m looking forward [...]

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Would You Like To Feel More Confident?

August 5, 2011

I’m really excited to be on the Wright Stuff Extra on Aug 16 Channel 5, as the expert Life Coach it’s such an opportunity to reach so many people. And it got me thinking.  What has been my major defining moments in my life? One of them is when I recovered from being made redundant [...]

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How I stayed sane whilst riding an emotional rollercoster

August 3, 2011

I wanted to talk to you about an emotionally challenging week I had, last week and what helped me keep sane through it. It feels like this was one of life’s milestones. A few weeks ago my 3 year old daughter, Chloe started nursery for the first time. Mornings only, until 215pm. She was really [...]

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